September 29, 2017

How to Build Confidence When You Worry and Feel Small

A lot of us have low self-confidence. We don't believe we are capable of much. We don't think highly of ourselves. And we worry, because there are so many things we think we couldn't handle.

We imagine scenarios and feel we would crumble in them. So we do our best to avoid them. To stay small, unnoticeable.

When in a deep confidence hole, I even noticed carrying myself differently. My shoulders are hunched forward, my eyes look down, and everything about me says that I want to be small, I want to disappear. The thought behind it is that I don't feel like I can handle what is about to come, whatever that might be.

Accept that anything might happen, and you'll be able to handle it.

I love fiction, and my favorite characters are always the ones who go forward, no matter what. The ones who can seemingly handle anything. So what is the difference between these people and the ones who lack confidence? At different point in my life, I've been both of them. And from my experience, the difference is what you believe you can handle.

When working with anxiety, this was crucial for me. At my lowest point, I thought I couldn't deal with anything that might happen. So I was terrified of everything.

You can never be sure what is about to happen. You cannot recover by saying that nothing will happen, because that's simply not true, and you know that. But you can work on yourself so that you won't mind what happens. So that you can go forward into the unknown with confidence that you can handle whatever comes.

Be in the present, future cannot be dealt with.

We cannot deal with what we imagine, because it is not there in real life. That is what makes it feel unbearable. We can't solve what isn't happening. We cannot react to the past, nor to the future. We can only deal with what is real. In the present moment.

An imaginary dragon is the hardest to slay. What actually happens is always manageable. To the present, to reality, we can always react. There is no worry about the present moment, it is not possible.

The truth is that whatever happened to you until now, you were able to handle. You are here, in peace, you have made it. And that is enough to be proud of. There is nothing that could come that you couldn't manage.

So let your attention rest on this moment. Recognize that thoughts about the future are just thoughts. And gather confidence from the knowledge that what is in this moment, you were always able to handle. And you always will. So go forward with that sword on your back and your head held high.

A guided meditation on the topic can be listened to here


  1. Thank you for another great article! I like using your meditations as well,they are very calming!Your site is very helpful for me! Have a nice day! Many greetings from The Czech Republic!

    1. Thank you for the support, it means a lot. I'm glad you are finding my work useful. Sending my love.

  2. Your meditations are the best I've ever listened to by far!!! I've been through some really terrible traumatic experiences recently but your meditations are really helping my soul! Love your work on them and everything you're doing! Much love from the East Coast of the USA!!

    1. Thank you so much for sharing. It means a lot to me. I wish your soul healing. Sending all my love.